Thursday, April 10, 2014

My anger of feminism

This post comes on the tangent of my last post.    I heard a radio program on NPR called On Point dealing with women and the workplace.  There were points made in this show that I agree with  and that some women seem to  just not get.   I am providing the link to it so that anyone who  wishes can listen to it as your leisure.

women in the workplace

 Before this  NPR show came I  made a comment on my twitter account about why some feminists seem to be so angry or carry deep anger within them.    True to form it brought out a couple of feminists.   I  wished I could post the interaction on this blog but I am not tech savvy enough to know how to copy and paste it and it  look somewhat professional.   What I did learn though was what I thought.  They are angry and I think more angry than  those fighting for equality for race. Feminists have a majorly deep chip on their shoulders and I am finding that they have no patience in trying to win people to their side. Instead they will call you sexist if you do not agree. It is the proper way  to label you when you are in disagreement.  One of these ladies even blocked me. Yet through it she displayed the very thing that I  see feminists as. That is angry people.

Seeds of anger thoughts of bitterness in me.

I have noticed lately that I have a growing anger building within me and I am not sure exactly why this is happening. I can guess but often times  those guesses are symptoms of  a deeper problem.

Here are the issues around me that  have me on a constant spin in a negative way.  I think these are the symptoms but  I am not sure if any one of this is the actual root of the problem or maybe it is the whole collage of them.

 I am taking a CCNA2 class  in college but it is online. I am finding it very frustrating because the class is too fast paced for me to learn anything quality from it.  I used Spring as an opportunity to catch up on work only to find that some of the things I turned in were not complete because I had missed answering some questions that I didn't realize  I was supposed to answer. I felt disheartened as a result and Seemed to lose the will to continue because there is alot of stuff to do in a short amount of time per week.

I am a fan of social media and when I refer to social media I refer to  Twitter, blogs and some discussion board.  I suppose you can throw Facebook in there  but I don't post on it as I used to. I frequents boards on  powerlifting as well as religions and even feminism.  Feminism has really angered me because of the deep anger I see in women's attitude about equality and how it seems to me that  feminists really want more than equality. The seem to want a domination but they want quite go that far in saying it.    Yet, the feminist class I took in college was the best class I had because I learned so much from it that I still reflect on the things I learned from it. Agree or disagree. It doesn't matter. I learned from it and that is what matters to me.

My wife, like most women goes through this emotional highs and lows but she  also had a   certain attitude that makes up her personality. She  keeps alot of ills within her and only pulls them out when she want to throw verbal bombs at me when she is mad. Yes, it hurts me inside and  I tend to keep those wombs.   In the past year she  stopped going to family functions - my side of the family. Says no one talks to her when  the actual truth is she sees herself as very intelligent and my family as not. My family is about having fun and not talking about deep things. Life is too short. I resort  to asking her if she would like to come to a family function versus it being an automatic yes.  She tends to ask me the same thing when it comes to her family because if I say I won't go she then lines up a plane flight or other means of travel to go on her own.   I see a feminist attitude in this traits.

I often find myself reflecting on my childhood when seeing various tv programs and I will voice them. My wife  will chime in with something destructive such as  'You didn't  have a good childhood because you had no responsibility'.  Who is she to judge anyone on how they  grew up?   When I think she is just kidding  her kidding is very serious. She doesn't  joke around too much. She tends to be a stoic person is which is why these things kills me, slowly inside. She seems to be of a mindset that  because grew up with  deep rules that I had no rules.   She grew up in the Philippines and grew up poor. Even   with food a small bag of chips is all they got per month.  Now  she eats a half a bag of big chips in  an entire setting and says don't judge her.

I find that my wife doesn't give alot of grace to people as I do  tend to give people grace even though  the ways of some people irritate me to no end.

She has been looking for other jobs, in library science, and they are avoiding her somehow.  She recently  found one 2 hours away. She has asked me  if she can apply for it. Before she asks she has it all planned out. Meaning,  she has sought apts in the area  so she knows if it is affordable to work there. It is a matter of me says YES or her just doing it.   Her birthday is coming up and she asked me about going to a chocolate factory for a tour and so forth. I wondered why and  when I look at it  this place is in the same town as this job opportunity.  It is like she  appealing to my chocolate side in order to get what she wants.     Is it deliberate?   Who knows and maybe I am naive.

In my job , our department just had a person transfer out after 4 years.  I am happy because she had a major attitude problem. Her work was good, for the most part, but her attitude was awful. The supervisor knew this but wouldn't do anything about it.  This lady would confront people with an attitude if you  said 'Good morning' to her.  'What is so great about it' she would say because she is not a morning person and perhaps she didn't like the person asking it as well.  On her last day, while training someone, she was making all kinds of negative comments to another  person she worked with. This person was doing some cross training with the acting supervisor.   That supervisor later told her he was thankful she didn't say anything to this girl  and if it were him he would have slapped the mess out of her.
I say this because I find that alot of the personality this lady has I am now finding in my wife and it really  irritates me. I find that I am coming home and having to endure a similar attitude and it causes me to just stay to myself.  Wife is or plays hypersensitive to certain comments.  i.e.  she  used to leave for work at 8am but nowadays it gets closer to 8:30am. On my off days I will tell her she is getting a bit late. To which  she says 'Don't  judge me'. 

I believe in her eyes she can do nothing right but I am always doing something wrong.  When I do something wrong she is very quick to point it out and do it with a very assertive/demanding attitude  that causes me to want to just walk away for a while.    I think she knows she does this and I don't think she cares. I often think that because she has been going to college, working on a masters degree in Library Science, that she has carefully developed these traits. She often says bad things about classmates even though most of her class have been online.  I am the total opposite.

 In June her sister flies  from the Philippines to say for  near a month. We are to   go to Savannah, GA to meet   with her mom and older sister for a few days on vacation.   I have wondered how happy I should express myself or should I  become more reserved? My wife tends to  show her aggressiveness toward me in some of these gatherings. I often stop what I am doing and ignore her to the extent that I  wish she would get mad to show her family  what an idiot she is being. It hurts me to the core but I don't yell at her or  get physical. I  just would rather leave the room and be by myself doing something else.

I also wonder if my mind is   going.   Lately I have found myself, later one,  doing weird things such as placing  items in areas in which they are not supposed to be and wondering how I put them there.  Alzheimers?  I am 44. The latest, ongoing installment, I tried to repair part of my  dresser drawer. I used to stapler to experiment with part of it  but it didn't work.   This was 2 weeks ago.  Now, I cannot find the stapler.   I don't remember taking it away from the bedroom and usually I do and put it back where we normally have it.   No where to be found.  Why?  I find myself lacking common sense at work in sometimes  simple things and I wonder why my mind is acting this way. Sometimes it is downright embarrassing to myself. I work in an accounting type of atmosphere so I have to do some critical thinking with numbers. My brain is being worked so does this come down to diet?  Or Genetics? Or something else?


Blogger, Google and Google+

I began my blogger account shortly after I   wrote an essay on blogging in business  during an intro to computer class I took in college a few years ago. I had no idea what a blog was and found that some companies actually used it to promote their business.  When I found out I could use it to express my own thoughts I jumped on it.

 Since those days of  beginning my blog there are been changes to the blogsphere in terms of blogger. It seems that Google bought blogger and  as a result began to combine it with email accounts and even trying to push Google+ on  its accounts.  I find this even with youtube. I was not able to find my account in youtube because another very generic account kept popping up to which  I was left scratching my head.   But after thinking it through and see parallels to my online travels it dawned on me up how Google is gobbling up on the internet.

 One day I found myself seemingly being forced to sign up for Google+ and eventually I succumbed to it but then  I could not make sense of it in terms of making it work. Granted I didn't spend much time working with it either because I really didn't care too much about it.  It took me some time to  deactivate my account.  Google doesn't make it easy, at least it wasn't for me. Then just before I wrote  this Google+   decided to try to do it again before I am showing my blogger account.   Why do I have to suffer through this and why can I not be left alone?

I know some individuals who are  transferring their accounts over to wordpress because it is easy to use. Maybe I should do this? If I do that I then need to   learn how to take the contents of this blog with me so my posts are not lost.

Any ideas please inform me.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Squatting to depth

 I have been trying to 'perfect' my squat form in order to get the most BANG out of it. I should say most strength out of it and from it. Traditionally many people  squat down, with a barbell on their back, and go only to parallel. Meaning, your thighs are  parallel to the floor. Some individuals don't even get that far and so they lose  the main point of doing squats. Do build up the legs and give them strength.

 I had placed a 14" box under me for my squats to make sure I was going below parallel.   I am doing strength training. I would  call it powerlifting but I have never competed therefore I cannot  say I am doing that as yet.  I posted a video of my squats and I was told, among other things, to get rid of the box and go lower. Think going down til I can touch my calves.   I was made at first because the tone in which these words came from showed alot of ego and alpha male.  It could  be the way I received it as well but in any cases I took those comments to heart and ditched the box. I did what many in the gym don't do when resetting themselves for an exercise with better form. I  took the weight off and used a lighter way to work on form.   The weight I used for my video  was  285lbs. I lowered it to 135 and went from there. I didn't go down to my calves but I did go much lower then before and I could feel a difference in the muscle firing off. I did a set of 10 reps. I went up the scale and stopped at 245lbs and that still felt great. I did 7 reps but more importantly I paid attention to how far down I was doing and keeping my form there.

In the process I need to work on some exercises that help open my hips up in order to  be able to squat down even further without  the blockage of tense muscles and tendons.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My continuing adventure in education

 2 years ago I made an education change in my life. Previously I had   worked my way to an A.A. degree in liberal arts and  then transferred to a University and majored in interdisciplinary studies with a focus on psychology and communications. I had 4 classes in on that B.A. degree when I asked myself what can I do  with this degree in regards to the place I work. I could not answer that so I decided to  change direction and play with the computer field.

 I transferred back to the college I got my A.A. degree in and took up Computer networking beginning with A+ . That is learning about the basics of the computer.  Both hard drive and  software.  I found it  hard overall. I have not transitioned to doing network fundamentals and this involved routing with Cisco.  A fascinating field and yet very technical. It is an 8 week class and my fear is  like the last class I took under this heading.  Too much information in such a short period of time can lead to brain overload.

This class is online. My wife is also taking an online class but her class runs the full semester.  I told her we might fight for the computer but then again I have a laptop so maybe  I should use it? ha

Yet the B.A. I was working on comes back to haunt me.   I think it is because I  feel a more natural being   in that field and even journalism has fascinated me a great deal in the last year yet  I don't know how constructively I could use such a thing in my currently profession. I might be able to use it but at this moment in time I am ignorant  in that knowledge.  So, in the meantime I am learning network fundamentals and how computers talk to each other and the use of IP addresses.


Thursday, February 27, 2014

'Bigotry Jail' the symbolism

Recently I posted something on a  discussion board and then on another discussion board.  I  want to post it to my blog to get thoughts on the issue. It is on the subject of the way of the homosexual march for marriage  as well as discrimination against homosexuals.   Let me know your thoughts.


This homosexual march is becoming very strong across America and like a virus it is spreading from state to state in the name of equality. One side says they were born that way while the other side say no it is sexual immorality just as is fornication and adultery. The pro homosexual side uses terms such as homophobic, homophobia, and bigotry and even 'hate speech' to brand those who disagree with their stand. It leaves me to wonder if the stance will be so strong that 'bigots' ,as they are labeled, will eventually go to jail for disagreeing with this lifestyle whether just in simple disagreement or in disagreement through business dealings?

There was a time when committing adultery would cause someone to be stoned to death and then it evolved to be placed in jail and then we have the tail of 'The Scarlet Letter' to bring the guilty to ultimate shame and now does anyone go to jail for it today? Are there even laws on the books making it illegal? How about fornication? Only when it involves a minor. Will the evolution of sex now grow to include homosexuality but in this case those who believe it is wrong and immoral? Instead of going to jail for practicing homosexuality what about going to jail for believing it is wrong or denying business dealings such as wedding deals and situations that deal directly with homosexuality and not just the individual? Will America truly come this far to practice such a thing? What do you suppose the Founding Father's of this country would think of this movement?

I have been pondering this in my mind based on the strong and rabid opinion of the pro homosexual parade on the march.

What do you think?


Wednesday, February 26, 2014

In memory of Dr. Antonio Castellvi

This post is in honor of Dr. Antonio Castellvi. He was an Orthopaedic Surgeon at Florida Orthopaedic Institute in Tampa, FL.  He passed away in early February, suddenly and when  I heard the news it was  so surreal  that I was  dumbfounded!

Dr. Castellvi's untimely passing

My wife suffered with a back issue for 3 years. Her back literally  leaned over to one side after bending down.  After seeing  a chiropractor, for a short time, the back was straightened out but her pain persisted. She was diagnosed with bursitis at one point but then varying opinions after that diagnosis.  After going through varying medical procedures such as accupuncture, cortisol injections.  3 chiropractic doctors over a  years period and even a surgery to  remove cysts, thinking  pressure may have been the cause the pain still persists.  She has did exercising  at personal trainers geared for her back and hip.  Finally  we went to find Orthopaedic surgeons to get advice.  Dr. Castellvi told us that  it was not bursitis causing her issue but she had degenerative disc disease.  The disc was collapsing and as  a result pinch the nerve as well as creating bone spurs.  She went through a series of cortizone shots in the back to see if it would help. It did  for week at a time.  Finally  we arraigned for disc surgery.  He  does fusions and disc replacement.  Unfortunately my insurance refused to cover  the replacement so we had to  go with disc fusion. She had a double fusion in July 2013 with a cage implanted as well. She actually had 2 surgeries in 3 days.

We last saw Dr. Castellvi   during the last week of January for a mere check up and x rays. He liked what he saw showing us that the bones were fusing together. It is a long process from the  visual.

Below is his  video interview of who he is from  Florida Orthopaedic Institute.

Introduction to Dr. Castellvi

This is  Dr. Castellvi  introducing Dr. Oz to his world.

Finally the story that told us more about him then the obituary mentioned.

CLICK HERE to read of his life   In memory of Dr. Antonio Castellvi

Dr. Castellvi and his wife Ramona